National Espionage and Defense Agency, subject file
By Darthanu
-main page-
File EI5J.A1.SV
Subject title: Pastarini’s
CLASSIFIED: level 6 restriction
Last Recorded Status (as of 10.14.2014):
Category: location of interest
Affiliation: independent
Associated persons: Hiss Pastarini (File TE0J.9B.TM)
Hazard level: 7
Founder: unknown
Date founded: unknown
Location: 115 Roise Road, Los Angeles, CA
Connections: see file TE0J.9B.TM
NEDA objective: eliminate subject
Subject Description:
Subject E15J.A1.SV appears to be normal Italian restaurant in L.A., open to general public. Prices marginally above average, décor Renaissance themed sculptures/paintings. Managed by current owner Hiss Pastarini (see file TE0J.9B.TM), assumed to be descendent of founder (not confirmed). Staff appear normal, 17 altogether, including Pastarini, 1 chef, 6 cooks, 7 waiters, 2 seaters (files to be created after more information uncovered). Suspicious activity confirmed through several silenced eyewitnesses and missing investigators. General public unaware of danger due to well-executed cover-ups on subject’s part. Suspected to be base of malicious organized activity, caution advised. NEDA to eliminate subject at first opportunity.
-4 attachments included-
1) Transcribed interview of Holly Porter, 17-year-old female eyewitness to suspicious activity (7.20.2014)
2) Ingredients in Cheesecake dessert served at Pastarini’s, dissected in NEDA lab (8.27.2014)
3) Description of Pastarini’s’ security camera tape, as obtained through hacked real-time streaming (10.2.2014)
4) Coded note written by Hiss Pastarini to employee (10.14.2014)
-attachment 1-
Agent Reginald Mayes
July 20, 2014
Interview with Holly Porte, Pastarini’s customer
*click*
Mayes:--if I record this?
Porte: Um, what? Why do you need a recording?
Mayes: Oh, well, I’m actually writing a review for a magazine, and I want to make sure I get everything that you say down exactly how you say it.
Porte: That sounds a little… I’m not sure.
Mayes: Why not?
Porte: If you’re writing an official review, I’m not sure I’m the person you should talk to. I can barely remember my experience at Pastarini’s, to be honest.
Mayes: That’s fine. Can you tell me about that?
*silence*
Porte: I’d really prefer if you didn’t record me.
Mayes: Ok, ok. I’ll turn it off.
*silence*
Porte: It’s off now?
Mayes: Yep, it’s off. Now can you explain to me a little what you meant when you said you barely remember your experience?
Porte: Look, I… if you’re writing something based on what I say then I don’t really want to say anything.
*silence*
Mayes: Ok, I won’t use any of your words. But I still want to figure out what other people thought of the restaurant so I can decide for myself what my stance should be. Can you please just talk to me about what you experienced?
*silence*
Porte: Ok.
Mayes: Great! Ok, maybe we should start from the beginning. Can you give me some background on your date?
Porte: Well, I think I already said this, but I was there with my boyfriend Harry. He told me he heard about Pastarini’s on the radio or something and had been there once before with his mom. He said the food was really good and that I had to go there with him. I remember him laughing when I pointed out a replica of Raphael’s “School of Athens” on one of the walls and started telling him the history behind it. He always liked to listen to me talk…
*silence*
Mayes: …and?
Porte: I—well, ok, so we went in and we got seated in this really nice booth right underneath a fresco painting. I remember thinking I was underdressed in just a t-shirt, but Harry said it was fine. And we ate. I had, like, chicken, I think. I don’t remember what he had. And, um, it gets weird.
Mayes: That’s fine. I want to hear everything.
Porte: But… like, REALLY weird.
Mayes: I really want to hear what you have to say.
Porte: Ok, I… I’m not crazy, ok? I swear I’m not crazy and I KNOW something happened because he’s gone and he won’t answer my calls and I KNOW it had to do with that restaurant!
Mayes: Whoa, calm down! I’m not saying you’re crazy! I just want to hear your story.
*silence*
Porte: I don’t remember what happened, but I can see little glimpses. Harry leaving the table. He and the manager yelling at each other. Someone who had a sword. Something coming out of the wall from behind the fresco. Some kind of struggle. What I do remember is finding myself safe at home afterward. But I haven’t seen Harry since.
*silence*
Porte: So I hope that you keep that in mind when you’re writing your review.
Mayes: Ms. Porte, you don’t have to--
Porte: No, I’m done talking. Goodbye.
Mayes: I… of course. Goodbye, Ms. Porte.
*prolonged silence*
*click*
-attachment 2-
Dissected Cheesecake from Pastarini’s
Regina Jell, lab hand
Listed recipe
16 oz. softened cream cheese
16 oz. ricotta cheese
1.5 cups pure cane sugar
4 eggs
1 tblspn lemon juice
1 tspn vanilla
3 tblspns cornstarch
3 tblspns flour
.5 cup butter
1 pint sour cream
7 strawberries
Actual ingredients
15 oz. softened cream cheese
14 oz. ricotta cheese
2 cups pure cane sugar
4 eggs
2 tblspns cornstarch
3 tblspns flour
.75 cup butter
7 grappleberries*
2 tblspns goat blood
2 tblspns seraphsin*
1 tspn rumlock*
*grappleberries banned in US for highly detrimental effects on judgement, seraphsin is main chemical in grappleberries. Instigate research on rumlock
-attachment 3-
The following is a description of the events detected on a Pastarini’s security camera after NEDA agents hacked into the system via Wi-Fi on October 2, 2014.
1145
Screen alights, shows image of the main eating area: sixteen tables around the room, some of which are booths. Various décor, including miniature replica of Michelangelo’s David in center of room and Raphael’s School of Athens above a booth. Seven tables occupied, two by families, four by couples, one by a single, blond young woman. Two waiters come and go, serving food. Nothing of note happens.
1200
One family has left, a waiter has emerged to clear their table. Two of the couples get up together and leave at the same time, not before graciously thanking the waiter. Nothing else of note.
1230
Another couple has arrived, but remaining family leaves with a wailing toddler. Restaurant now contains three couples and single woman. Seater seats the new couple and returns to somewhere offscreen after taking their order.
1235
Original two couples leave close to the same time, one seemingly unhappy with the meal. The man and woman begin speaking angrily to a waiter as they gesture toward an unfinished strawberry sundae. Waiter smiles and waves them away, and couple leaves, suddenly calm. Restaurant now contains blond woman and one couple.
1250
Waitress enters to serve remaining couple. Blond woman, now finished with meal, begins speaking seriously with a waiter. Waiter smiles reassuringly and says something, but woman shakes head, scowling. Waiter repeats previous motion. Woman again disagrees, shaking head more violently this time.
1252
Waiter and woman are arguing, waiter is no longer friendly and wears irritated expression. Remaining couple has noticed commotion and casts furtive glances across the room as they continue to eat their meal.
1253
Three more waiters enter, advance on blond woman, who is now shouting. Couple looks on, alarmed. All four waiters grab onto struggling woman.
1254
Couple stands in shock, both shouting at waiters. Suddenly, School of Athens replica on wall opens on hinges like a door. Crowd of people armed with medieval weapons storm out. Someone shoots the female in the couple with an arrow, and another person decapitates male with a sword. Blond woman is screaming as waiters drag her toward opening behind painting…
*static due to newly erected firewall, takes time to hack through*
1310
Restaurant is back to normal, no blood, painting securely on wall. Family of three arrives onscreen, led by a seater. Waitress arrives and greets family, takes drinks order. Waitress is blond.
*static due to another newly erected firewall. Agents are unable to hack through*
-attachment 4-
Svuuq,
R oel’m klea rw qeh’uj vavuj, ihm aj’yj texj hloju msj ntuhmrlq ew msj Lvmrelvf Jncrelvbj vlo Ojwjlnj Vbjltq. Vfmsehbs msj netrjmq rn v nrblrwrtvlm msujvm me ehu eubvlrdvmrel, aj vuj vm vl voyvlmvbj ijtvhnj msjq weefrnsfq hlojujnmrxvmj hn. Msjq oel’m ujvfrdj sea ovlbjuehn aj tvl ij. Msrn fjmmju rn iehlo me wvff rlme msj svlon ew v LJOV vbjlm jyjlmhvffq, ihm arms ehu fhtk msjq ael’m tvuj jlehbs me tuvtk msj teoj hlmrf rm’n mee fvmj… weu msjx. Msj wehumjjlms. Msvm’n asjl aj nmurkj. R klea qeh’uj ujfvmryjfq lja sjuj, Svuuq, ihm R’x chmmrlb qeh rl tsvubj ew msj wrjfo vtmryrmq. Qeh’ff ij v bjljuvf ew neumn. Ihm ujxjxiju lem me whtk hc frkj Ojujk oro mae ajjkn vbe—qeh oel’m avlm me nsvuj srn wvmj, oe qeh? Ne le krffrlb. R phnm avlm qeh me… “cjunhvoj” nexj vbjlmn me perl ehu tvhnj. Qeh klea asvm R xjvl. Mvkj msj uhxfetk arms qeh. R’ff njlo v xvc fjvorlb me msj vbjltq sjvozhvumjun me qehu cfvtj ew oajffrlb, ornbhrnjo vn vl voyjumrnjxjlm. Msjuj svo ijmmju ij nexj lja ujtuhrmn vm msj ujnmvhuvlm iq msj wrwmjjlms. Oe lem wvrf.
—Srnn
-end-
-main page-
File EI5J.A1.SV
Subject title: Pastarini’s
CLASSIFIED: level 6 restriction
Last Recorded Status (as of 10.14.2014):
Category: location of interest
Affiliation: independent
Associated persons: Hiss Pastarini (File TE0J.9B.TM)
Hazard level: 7
Founder: unknown
Date founded: unknown
Location: 115 Roise Road, Los Angeles, CA
Connections: see file TE0J.9B.TM
NEDA objective: eliminate subject
Subject Description:
Subject E15J.A1.SV appears to be normal Italian restaurant in L.A., open to general public. Prices marginally above average, décor Renaissance themed sculptures/paintings. Managed by current owner Hiss Pastarini (see file TE0J.9B.TM), assumed to be descendent of founder (not confirmed). Staff appear normal, 17 altogether, including Pastarini, 1 chef, 6 cooks, 7 waiters, 2 seaters (files to be created after more information uncovered). Suspicious activity confirmed through several silenced eyewitnesses and missing investigators. General public unaware of danger due to well-executed cover-ups on subject’s part. Suspected to be base of malicious organized activity, caution advised. NEDA to eliminate subject at first opportunity.
-4 attachments included-
1) Transcribed interview of Holly Porter, 17-year-old female eyewitness to suspicious activity (7.20.2014)
2) Ingredients in Cheesecake dessert served at Pastarini’s, dissected in NEDA lab (8.27.2014)
3) Description of Pastarini’s’ security camera tape, as obtained through hacked real-time streaming (10.2.2014)
4) Coded note written by Hiss Pastarini to employee (10.14.2014)
-attachment 1-
Agent Reginald Mayes
July 20, 2014
Interview with Holly Porte, Pastarini’s customer
*click*
Mayes:--if I record this?
Porte: Um, what? Why do you need a recording?
Mayes: Oh, well, I’m actually writing a review for a magazine, and I want to make sure I get everything that you say down exactly how you say it.
Porte: That sounds a little… I’m not sure.
Mayes: Why not?
Porte: If you’re writing an official review, I’m not sure I’m the person you should talk to. I can barely remember my experience at Pastarini’s, to be honest.
Mayes: That’s fine. Can you tell me about that?
*silence*
Porte: I’d really prefer if you didn’t record me.
Mayes: Ok, ok. I’ll turn it off.
*silence*
Porte: It’s off now?
Mayes: Yep, it’s off. Now can you explain to me a little what you meant when you said you barely remember your experience?
Porte: Look, I… if you’re writing something based on what I say then I don’t really want to say anything.
*silence*
Mayes: Ok, I won’t use any of your words. But I still want to figure out what other people thought of the restaurant so I can decide for myself what my stance should be. Can you please just talk to me about what you experienced?
*silence*
Porte: Ok.
Mayes: Great! Ok, maybe we should start from the beginning. Can you give me some background on your date?
Porte: Well, I think I already said this, but I was there with my boyfriend Harry. He told me he heard about Pastarini’s on the radio or something and had been there once before with his mom. He said the food was really good and that I had to go there with him. I remember him laughing when I pointed out a replica of Raphael’s “School of Athens” on one of the walls and started telling him the history behind it. He always liked to listen to me talk…
*silence*
Mayes: …and?
Porte: I—well, ok, so we went in and we got seated in this really nice booth right underneath a fresco painting. I remember thinking I was underdressed in just a t-shirt, but Harry said it was fine. And we ate. I had, like, chicken, I think. I don’t remember what he had. And, um, it gets weird.
Mayes: That’s fine. I want to hear everything.
Porte: But… like, REALLY weird.
Mayes: I really want to hear what you have to say.
Porte: Ok, I… I’m not crazy, ok? I swear I’m not crazy and I KNOW something happened because he’s gone and he won’t answer my calls and I KNOW it had to do with that restaurant!
Mayes: Whoa, calm down! I’m not saying you’re crazy! I just want to hear your story.
*silence*
Porte: I don’t remember what happened, but I can see little glimpses. Harry leaving the table. He and the manager yelling at each other. Someone who had a sword. Something coming out of the wall from behind the fresco. Some kind of struggle. What I do remember is finding myself safe at home afterward. But I haven’t seen Harry since.
*silence*
Porte: So I hope that you keep that in mind when you’re writing your review.
Mayes: Ms. Porte, you don’t have to--
Porte: No, I’m done talking. Goodbye.
Mayes: I… of course. Goodbye, Ms. Porte.
*prolonged silence*
*click*
-attachment 2-
Dissected Cheesecake from Pastarini’s
Regina Jell, lab hand
Listed recipe
16 oz. softened cream cheese
16 oz. ricotta cheese
1.5 cups pure cane sugar
4 eggs
1 tblspn lemon juice
1 tspn vanilla
3 tblspns cornstarch
3 tblspns flour
.5 cup butter
1 pint sour cream
7 strawberries
Actual ingredients
15 oz. softened cream cheese
14 oz. ricotta cheese
2 cups pure cane sugar
4 eggs
2 tblspns cornstarch
3 tblspns flour
.75 cup butter
7 grappleberries*
2 tblspns goat blood
2 tblspns seraphsin*
1 tspn rumlock*
*grappleberries banned in US for highly detrimental effects on judgement, seraphsin is main chemical in grappleberries. Instigate research on rumlock
-attachment 3-
The following is a description of the events detected on a Pastarini’s security camera after NEDA agents hacked into the system via Wi-Fi on October 2, 2014.
1145
Screen alights, shows image of the main eating area: sixteen tables around the room, some of which are booths. Various décor, including miniature replica of Michelangelo’s David in center of room and Raphael’s School of Athens above a booth. Seven tables occupied, two by families, four by couples, one by a single, blond young woman. Two waiters come and go, serving food. Nothing of note happens.
1200
One family has left, a waiter has emerged to clear their table. Two of the couples get up together and leave at the same time, not before graciously thanking the waiter. Nothing else of note.
1230
Another couple has arrived, but remaining family leaves with a wailing toddler. Restaurant now contains three couples and single woman. Seater seats the new couple and returns to somewhere offscreen after taking their order.
1235
Original two couples leave close to the same time, one seemingly unhappy with the meal. The man and woman begin speaking angrily to a waiter as they gesture toward an unfinished strawberry sundae. Waiter smiles and waves them away, and couple leaves, suddenly calm. Restaurant now contains blond woman and one couple.
1250
Waitress enters to serve remaining couple. Blond woman, now finished with meal, begins speaking seriously with a waiter. Waiter smiles reassuringly and says something, but woman shakes head, scowling. Waiter repeats previous motion. Woman again disagrees, shaking head more violently this time.
1252
Waiter and woman are arguing, waiter is no longer friendly and wears irritated expression. Remaining couple has noticed commotion and casts furtive glances across the room as they continue to eat their meal.
1253
Three more waiters enter, advance on blond woman, who is now shouting. Couple looks on, alarmed. All four waiters grab onto struggling woman.
1254
Couple stands in shock, both shouting at waiters. Suddenly, School of Athens replica on wall opens on hinges like a door. Crowd of people armed with medieval weapons storm out. Someone shoots the female in the couple with an arrow, and another person decapitates male with a sword. Blond woman is screaming as waiters drag her toward opening behind painting…
*static due to newly erected firewall, takes time to hack through*
1310
Restaurant is back to normal, no blood, painting securely on wall. Family of three arrives onscreen, led by a seater. Waitress arrives and greets family, takes drinks order. Waitress is blond.
*static due to another newly erected firewall. Agents are unable to hack through*
-attachment 4-
Svuuq,
R oel’m klea rw qeh’uj vavuj, ihm aj’yj texj hloju msj ntuhmrlq ew msj Lvmrelvf Jncrelvbj vlo Ojwjlnj Vbjltq. Vfmsehbs msj netrjmq rn v nrblrwrtvlm msujvm me ehu eubvlrdvmrel, aj vuj vm vl voyvlmvbj ijtvhnj msjq weefrnsfq hlojujnmrxvmj hn. Msjq oel’m ujvfrdj sea ovlbjuehn aj tvl ij. Msrn fjmmju rn iehlo me wvff rlme msj svlon ew v LJOV vbjlm jyjlmhvffq, ihm arms ehu fhtk msjq ael’m tvuj jlehbs me tuvtk msj teoj hlmrf rm’n mee fvmj… weu msjx. Msj wehumjjlms. Msvm’n asjl aj nmurkj. R klea qeh’uj ujfvmryjfq lja sjuj, Svuuq, ihm R’x chmmrlb qeh rl tsvubj ew msj wrjfo vtmryrmq. Qeh’ff ij v bjljuvf ew neumn. Ihm ujxjxiju lem me whtk hc frkj Ojujk oro mae ajjkn vbe—qeh oel’m avlm me nsvuj srn wvmj, oe qeh? Ne le krffrlb. R phnm avlm qeh me… “cjunhvoj” nexj vbjlmn me perl ehu tvhnj. Qeh klea asvm R xjvl. Mvkj msj uhxfetk arms qeh. R’ff njlo v xvc fjvorlb me msj vbjltq sjvozhvumjun me qehu cfvtj ew oajffrlb, ornbhrnjo vn vl voyjumrnjxjlm. Msjuj svo ijmmju ij nexj lja ujtuhrmn vm msj ujnmvhuvlm iq msj wrwmjjlms. Oe lem wvrf.
—Srnn
-end-